Random


So it’s been a few months since my last post, but this time it wasn’t my fault. Here’s what happened: (short story)

I woke up on a lovely Saturday in April; April 24th, I believe. I made my way downstairs to fix myself a nutritious breakfast and to my surprise there standing in my very own kitchen was no other than “Mad Artheon Meikuzukushi” the most notorious half-Pirate, half-Ninja evil villain of them all!

What, you may ask, was Mad Meikuzukushi doing in MY house? Well, as everyone knows that if a half-Pirate, half-Ninja evil villain sacrifices a suburban black cat to the Ninja/Pirate hybrid Gods, when the moon is full at exactly 2:26am, while standing in a boat made of oak, and holding an onion in your left hand-they can and WILL be the most powerful Ninja/Pirate hybrid for…..one year.

I of course, I have a black cat named Tales. “Tales” (2) for those who do not know, has an origin dating back to ancient times when “The Ninja” and “The Pirate” first fell in love and decided to create a super-hybrid (I may tell this story at a later time). Tales. Definition: the writ by which such persons are summoned.

When, and I am not 100% sure HOW Mad Meikuzukushi found out about my cat, Tales, he felt drawn…you can even say “summoned” to capture him and deliver him to the Gods.

So there I was: Saturday, 8am-kitchen. Mad Meikuzukushi with his soulless eyes, Tales in hand, glaring at me; a shiver ran down my spine. What the heck was going on?!! Then, without warning, without a second thought he was gone, Tales was gone! Mad Meikuzukushi used his Ninja side to escape before I could do anything. But what he left behind was the key to get Tales back, the key to the start of my adventure. I looked at my feet and there lay a scroll in a bottle. Mad Meikuzukushi’s Pirate side had failed him. Silly Pirates-always drunkenly loosing things.

The scroll, conveniently, outlined all what I needed to know. I quickly ran over to the calendar and noticed that April 28th was a full moon. I had to act quickly. I gathered my things and headed out blindly, frantically attempting to gather any clues possible.

If I was a half-Ninja, half-Pirate evil villain, where would I go? Then it hit me…THE ONION! HE NEEDS AN ONION!. I know what you’re thinking now: but where would a half-Ninja, half-Pirate evil villian buy an onion? WELL, that’s OBVIOUS! WHERE PEOPLE ARE USED TO SEEING “ODD” CHARACTERS….WAL_MART! Proof

I jumped on my bike and rode as fast as I could. When I arrived, I scanned the food section: a woman with a mullet, a man with a ferret wearing a fedora and this guy

I almost gave up hope, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw Mad Meikuzukushi in the section of the Miley Cyrus clothing line (yeah, don’t ask me- I don’t know). He didn’t know I was there. I had to think quickly. WHAT defeats a hybrid Ninja/Pirate? I then grabbed…a copy of some “Justin Bieber” CD, the closest CD-player I could find and blasted it. It worked! Mad Meikuzukushi dropped to the ground in agony. Not even the strongest of Ninja/Pirate hybrids could withstand “Baby Baby Baby…” When I thought it was safe, I ran over to grab Tales. BUT THEN SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED. The CD player (great quality) began to skip giving Mad Meikuzukushi enough time to escape. This time I was ready, this time I was able to see his mode of transportation. A Kawasaki Vulcan cruiser, of course.

Where was he going? As I stood there in thought- BAM I felt a strong hit to the back of my head and I was out! When I came to there stood a mysterious figure. I was in an unknown place. A Clown? Why did a Clown hit me? When I came to he (never caught his name) regaled me with tales of how the first Ninja/Pirate hybrid destroyed his land and killed his family- only 4 survived. From that day on, all Clowns’ mission was to stop any Ninja/Pirate hybrid from becoming “the most powerful Ninja/Pirate hybrid for…..one year.”
How could this Clown help me? Fact: Clowns are very agile, sneaky and darn right creepy. No one wants to mess with a Clown. So I thought: “hey, couldn’t hurt, right?”

The next few days were spent in the Clown’s secret fort (can’t recall where we stayed). We planned our method of attack and researched areas of where the sacrifice HAD to take place. There was only one (sadly I cannot say as I fear any other Ninja/Pirate hybrids will read this and come after me).

And so, we headed off once more and arrived at our destination the morning of the 28th. We didn’t have much time. There were many things to gather. The night was creeping upon us.

The clown and I set up camp at 9:00pm. It was night, the sun had already fallen-we waited.

At 12am Mad Meikuzukushi finally arrived- he had to prepare as well. He made his way on his boat to the middle of the lake [location: not specified for reasons above]. We gathered our things and moved in, slowly behind. When he stopped we were running out of time-it was 1:55am. The clown took charge, jumped Mad Meikuzukushi’s boat and attempt to slay him. That was the end of the Clown. The ultimate mistake every Clown makes and something everyone must know: you cannot, repeat CANNOT destroy a half-Ninja, half-Pirate evil villain with a balloon sword. That was the last time I would join forces with a Clown…just sayin’.

So it was up to me! Mad Meikuzukushi knew I was there! He fought back with ninja stars, cannons and even fish. With my inner strength and the love for my cat fueling me, I avoided all hits but all my supplies and weapons were destroyed. I was panicking, Mad Meikuzukushi knew I held the shorter hand. I couldn’t give up, but yet I didn’t know what else to do! Then there, stuck in the side of my boat, tangled in what was left of the Clown’s bag was my answer!

2:23am! It was time, my heart beat quickly, sweat dripped down my temples. Mad Meikuzukushi raised his left hand-the onion! There he stood on a boat made of oak, the moon was full! Mad Meikuzukushi raised his right hand-there he held his Katana.

I responded, the Clown- he had an iphone! Apparently the Clown was a closet Justin Bieber fan. And you know what happened next. With power and my own personal invisibly cloak [Justin’s Bieber’s tween and 40-year woman, loving voice] I jumped the boat, tied the iPhone to Mad Meikuzukushi and dumped him overboard to his watery abyss-never to be seen from again.

Tales was safe and I didn’t have to listen to Justin Bieber any longer. All was well.

Now to figure out how to get home…

I IZ SAFE

You might be thinking: “well that only counts for like one, two weeks of inactivity. Let me ask you this: “Have you ever had to battle a half-Ninja, half-Pirate evil villain for the sake of your cat?” Plus all that travel time? It’s tiring!!!

Actuality: like all my blogs, this one has followed suit and has fallen in the vortex of my laziness, hopefully I made up for it with creativity.

I have quite a large Kinder Surprise toy collection, and with each progressing year I am finding the toy ideas are becoming a little more odd.

When I was a kid I remember you had to build the toy more so than you have to nowadays. I loved that part the most. My siblings and I would also challenge each other who could build our toys without looking at the instructions. Perhaps that’s when my quirk for not reading instructions for most things began…

Anyways, the other day I received a Kinder Surprise and inside was this little surprise:

"Loooooovvvvveeeeee Mmmmeeeeee, bbbaaahhhhh"

My first reaction = “this is terrifying looking!!!” How did someone come up with this? A lamb with giant hands?! The hands are also connected to a string that retracts. When one hand is pulled, the other starts drooping down. The fingers also can interlock, thus clamping the hands together.

Overall, the toy is kind of neat and I did play with it for quite some time, but it’s still pretty creepy looking. In the back of my mind I couldn’t help but think of Lamb Chop getting into some sort of nuclear disaster, resulting in GIANT HANDS.

… on second thought, maybe that would have made the show even better?

So in closing: I miss old(er) Kinder Surprise toys, mostly for the fun of building them.

I never really buy bottled water, unless I am without my reusable steel water bottle. For the most part it all tastes the same to me: “tap vs bottled water”, and the following diagram also agrees.  The only exception I have come across is Disani. I greatly dislike the taste of Disani, and I highly doubt it’s just me-there really is a difference! I can almost say, I would rather drink pop than Disani-and I very rarely drink pop.

Anyways, I came across this diagram and though it’s nothing we all haven’t seen or heard of before I would like to share it regardless: (click on the diagram for full view)

Presented by Online Education
The Facts About Bottled Water

So it seems I have neglected to post for quite a while. It was only a matter of time, but I’ll try to do better in the future.

Oh February, you came and you went so darn quickly, with many ups and downs to say the least. Looking back at everything that had transpired this past month, I cannot put it into words and I still can’t believe it’s March already!

Time goes by too fracking fast- but I rather not think of that right now.

Instead:

Maybe it’s because of my German background and especially maybe because the woman somewhat reminds me of every one of my female relatives, but I can’t help but laugh to myself every time I see this commercial. I actually find myself running to the TV if I hear it from another room. I was never a big fan of the other stride commercials, but this one I like.

Focus on the woman, she’s so little and delicate- doesn’t seem she could hurt anyone, and then WHAM! Swift hit to the back- priceless! Crazy Germans.

It might be weird, but this cheers me up.

If I you could have a super power what would it be? At some point in time, most people are asked this. Some people would choose to have the ability to fly, while others may choose the ability to read minds. My super power of choice would be the ability to control time and space. This preference first began when I was a kid and watched the TV show Out of This World (2:53). The main character  Ethel Garland, a half-alien/half-human living in California, had the ability to freeze time by touching her two fingers together and unfreezing time by clapping. I thought it was so cool. I often would daydream about having this ability and think how handy it would be to have in daily routines. (Who am I kidding? I would daydream about all the stuff I could do and get away with!) Although if Evie accidentally touched someone, they too would “unfreeze” and realize she had powers. On top of this awesome power, Evie also had the ability to teleport, by snapping her fingers. Radical.

Another TV character which fed my desire for this power was the iconic Zack Morris from “Saved by the Bell”. Who didn’t love his ability to “time-out” and “time-in” at any given moment? AND he could touch anyone without “unfreezing” him or her. That’s one up to Zack Morris! Sorry Evie, but your half-alien heritage gains you an incomparable status.

TV character #3: Sabrina Spellman (4:30) from the show “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”. I recall a few episodes where Sabrina froze time or went back in time to undo an occurrence, change the future, or gain extra study time for Mr. Rockwell’s math test. Definitely had daydreams where I had that ability during some of my own tests…stratosphere is below mesosphere damn it! Other than that S.S didn’t have much of an impact.

The most recent character that further sparked my notion that “time-control” is one of the best super powers is Hiro Nakamura from the show “Heroes”. He is able to freeze time, speed it up, slow it down, go back in time, go forward in time and teleport around the world. Just think of all the time and money on travel expenses you’d save. In a less practical mind-set, think of all the places you could go!

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. Time travel is very dangerous you can alter the future, yada yada yada- but it would be different for me 😉

As such, I would sum up my powers like so:
1) Keep Evie’s style of finger touching to freeze time, clap to unfreeze

2) Have Zack Morris’s ability to come into contact with others, without accidentally unfreezing them, thus exposing them to my secret. BUT have the choice to unfreeze anyone, like Evie.

3) Ability to teleport, like Hiro, but I would be better at it and not get lost somewhere in time and space unable to find my coffee shop love interest.
3b) Ability to teleport with someone (must be touching him or her).

4) When time traveling-no body doubles like in the movie Primer . This would prevent the risk and altering the future (I think). Although I don’t think I would time travel too much, I much prefer the idea of freezing time, speeding it up and teleportation.

5) Invisibility would be handy for this power too, especially if I would literally be popping out of thin air. Having the option of time traveling or teleportation while invisible would give allow me to observe events or people without possibly altering future events.

There are so many other attributes to add, but I’ll leave it at this for now and encourage you to share your ideal super powers.

The “ideal first blog post”-what does it entail?

Okay, so this is my blog!!!! <pause> Woah, that’s a little too much excitement.

*Ahem*

Lately I have contemplating starting up a another blog, but what sort of things am I going to write about? How often should I write? Will it be good enough? Will anyone want read it? *Sigh* As I’m tapping my keyboard, thinking, thinking, thinking and yes, hypnotized by the blinking cursor, I’ve decided…I am diving into the written art of the interwebs! Stayed tuned for further rants, thoughts, stories of my crazy adventures, interesting encounters, and random things I’ve found on the internet.

Here’s a picture of a kitty:

Over and Out.
-Christina